Not Able to Hold Back
Last night when S and i made love i sought very deeply not to cum, but he was not going to cum for a long while and when i let go and came i was unable to hold back and came several times. Of course it was wonderful. He said "I know you would have enjoyed it more if I'd finished." And i laughed and said "Well it's not exactly as if i'm unhappy!"

This afternoon he was feeling awful with arthritis. He joked with me, that at least his cock didn't hurt. i said that it also seemed to work quite well. "I don't know," he said, "I think we'd better keep testing it." i'm not going to object.

Convention stuff:

My first class was the kundalini yoga class. It was focused on theory and scientific studies for the first third and then learning a variety of breathing and chanting techniques to control various mental disorders for the rest of the day. Some of them are supposed to be curative, if one has the discipline to do them properly. The most ironic one is the one for ADHD which has a very complex breathing pattern. It seems as if one almost can't have ADHD to be able to do the pattern, unless one is coached.

Some of the theory is very interesting having to do with the two hemispheres of the brain. The left brain (and right side of body) is the male or sun brain, focused on practical details, making plans, etc. The right side of the brain (left side of body) is the female or moon brain, associated with rest, rejuvenation and expansive consciousness.

The theory and he has several studies which support it is that the hemispheres take turns being more active, hence periods of the day when one is more inclined to rest and others when one wishes to be more active. The studies showed that breathing through one nostril activates the contra-lateral side of the brain. However most of the breathing techniques did not require blocking off one nostril.

There is one very simple technique that i think i will teach to several of my patients to reduce anxiety. Some of the others require much more effort and/or chanting. i'm not sure how many would be comfortable with chanting. A good number of people here associate anything to do with yoga with Satanic worship. Go figure. The chanting is interesting because either the vibration caused by the sound and/or the pressure of the tongue on the roof of the mouth stimulates acupuncture points on the palate.

My emotional reaction. It was quite relaxing and invigorating. The instructor as i mentioned before, had an attractive personality for me. He had a good sense of humor and was pretty open about himself. He also had a no nonsense approach to his teaching. When a position was difficult, he would say "So it hurts, so what, there will be a lot of benefit from it." "Keep going, half way there". When some of the other students said, "How am I going to get my patients to do this?" He said, "They either do it or they don't, you can't control that, don't worry about it. It's not your problem. You just offer it to them."

When i went up to the front after the class, he was fiddling with his computer and i just stood there and waited, which is pretty much my style in those types of situations anyway. But i felt a much deeper stillness inside than i usually do. So when he was done with the computer and looked at me, i said "Thank You," And this part i'm not clear on, but i think . . . maybe . . . i winked at him. i almost can't believe i did that! But i think i really did. With all the meditating and breathing and my general state of mind that week-end i was not in my more grounded state of mind. And in my looser state of mind where in i see a lot of life as a pretty good joke; i can easily imagine winking. Because it seemed that he saw life as a pretty good joke too. But winking was not an appropriate thing, being a flirtatious act. Later on i was wandering about wondering what to do with myself when i saw him looking at a map of midtown Atlanta. That's when i was tempted to see if he wanted to have dinner with me. He looked up at me as i passed and his look was so direct and well . . . commanding, that it startled me. Mentally i thought, "What are you thinking about doing, silly girl! This man is too much for you and you have no business with him!" So i walked on by and happily ate a large steak. i felt much less airy after that. When i was a vegetarian amongst vegetarians that light-headed feeling was much sought after, but there is a lot to be said for gravity.